peer assesment sun-day

“Sun-Day

This poem is a concrete poem and is about the sun. I believe this is part of our daily life so I wrote about the sun. The sun is the one that starts the day and does miraculous things. This was my first poem I made this semester.
I think the idea of the poem is clear. The message is clear and it is focused. It is also concise. It is easy to understand the insight of the topic. The main idea is easy to notice. It is also well defined and gives the piece a strong sense of direction. The word is supporting the main topic. I also think that the poem answers the reader’s questions thoroughly and well.
The convention was ok. I think there were at least two grammar problems because of the words that are alone. There were some sentences in my concrete poem. I could see a control over a wide range of convention. It is creative and brings out meaning and voice. This poem has eye appeal and you could see what words stands out. So you don’t need to highlight any information. It is correctly formatted. It has to look like a sun so I made it round.
The word choice in this poem was original, precise, clear, and striking. I think the poem is suited for the audience and the poem. Maybe I could use better words for my poem. Better word choice. Maybe something that could give more power to this poem so you could feel the heat of the sun or something that your could feel the sense of the sun. It is energetic and also creative but. It is easy to make an image of the poem once I read it. I Like the part when I wrote “the sun is burns the skin ouch ouch ouch.” Those are the words that show images of the poem. It describes what the sun does to you. It isn’t that strong but it has some words that give you an image.
I didn’t have that much sentence in my poem. I think the sentence fluency was good. It was flowing and smooth. It was natural and enjoyable to read. There were no run-ons and choppiness are absent from this text. The transitions are natural too. I think the structure enhance the meaning of the poem. It brings out the voice. Each words or sentences connect to the subject. It is readable and expressive in some ways. It connects the key point from another point. I could see what the main point is for reading. It echoes.
It is organized well and the pattern is ideally suited to the genre. The topic and the purpose are well placed. The structure guides the reader through the pieces.
The voice is understandable and it is perfect.